How to ruin your daughter’s life in one easy step.

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Step 1: Allow her 7-year-old brother to name her.

You’re done! Now start saving for therapy.

We woke up early on Saturday morning and started discussing baby names. Specifically girl baby names. I can’t say we’ve gotten too far after talking about it for several hours, but at least we’re thinking about it. Then the boys came upstairs and joined us. C was especially interested in the topic, so we started quizzing him on names he liked.

Were there any names of girls in his class that he liked? “Not really.” he said.

What do you think would be a good name for a girl? “Um, I don’t know.”

We suggested a few names that we weren’t seriously considering, just to get his opinion. He mostly rejected the following:

Kaitlyn

Callie

Sethia

Hope

Joy

Love (”Love?” he said, crinkly up his nose.)

Peace

Longsuffering

Ruth (”Roof?”)

Clementine

Poppy Clementine (He sort of liked Poppy.)

So, what names do you like?

“How about Neck?” he suggested.

Nick, you mean?

“No, Neck. That’s a good name.”

Hmm, Neck. Interesting.

And it went down from there, folks.

He came up with the following suggestions:

Hog (Mr. French: “You can’t name a girl, Hog. That’s like calling her a pig.” Me: “That’s called, ‘Scarring her for Life’.”)

Spidey

Spiderman

Bat

Baseball Bat

Nag (I really don’t think he knew what this meant.) (Mr. French, however, who does know what it means, said “It might come in handy if she gets married someday.”)

Miz

Rowse

Snow (me: “She’s Snow Good D_____” Mr.F: “Honey!” Me: “Well, you have to think about what someone else would say about it.”)

Batman (This was, by far, the winner among the boys, 7 and under.)

Let me assure you that we have absolutely no intention of even telling the boys any names we are seriously considering until after they meet their new brother or sister.

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Filed under Aren't my kids funny?, Mr. French, That was fun