Category Archives: With tongue placed firmly in wall of mouth
Super powers
In my next life, I’d like to have the takes-good-pictures-of-kids-and-animals super power. I mean, if we get to choose. I don’t have that super power. Yet. My super power is being able to leave dishes in the sink until the … Continue reading
It’s official.
I’m a houseplant killer. I know it’s hard to believe that someone who has managed to keep five kids and a husband alive for this long could kill any and all houseplants, but it’s true. In fact, I’m so good … Continue reading
How to lose the baby weight, quickly and easily, every time
You guys, I promise this will work. Step one: pick up the baby. Step two: step on the scale. Step three: Now this is the tricky part, step off the scale, put the baby down and then step back on. … Continue reading
But what will we joke about once this baby gets here?
Texts between the Mr. and I: Me: How late do u think you’ll be tonight? Mr. F: How frequent are your contractions? Me: Every ten minutes. But they only last for 8. Mr. F: Really? Me: No Me: We’re at … Continue reading
Remember the good ole’ days when I got to do it all by myself?
The fighting has gotten so bad over here, I’m going to have to make up a schedule for who’s turn it is to empty the lint trap in the dryer.
Fashion Forecast: Mom socks
I’m predicting that wearing your mom’s socks will be the next big thing. Although, it’s probably a bad idea to interpret the runway fashions literally. Some people can get away with it better than others. I was way more excited … Continue reading
How to confuse the post office in twelve difficult steps.
You might not need to do all of these. Use your own judgment. Step one: Move to another town (we’ll call this addresss B). Forward your mail. Step two: After six months move to another part of town (we’ll call … Continue reading
