It all started innocently enough. My cousin, Sarah sent me this maternity shirt, so naturally I tried it on. And it fit, but it was also kind of huge. So I thought I should see what it will look like when I start to look pregnant. You know how they have those pregnant belly pillows at all the little maternity clothing shops so that you can see if it will fit you when you really are huge? So I stuffed myself up and everyone thought it was funny and then Mr. F wanted to take a picture and I let him and then I thought, wouldn’t it be funny if I put it on the blog and pretended I was really that big? Of course, no one is going to believe that, will they?
You guys are making me feel bad.
Mr. French thought no one would have any reason to doubt that I was really that big.
So fine. He was right. I was wrong. (Did you read that, honey?)
This is a more accurate picture of what I really look like:
Yeah. So, I’m not really showing yet. Though if you look really, really closely, I sort of am.
I guess, since I don’t talk a lot about how sick I’ve been, you don’t know that I lost 14 pounds in the last 2 months and have only gained back about 3. And while even I can’t figure out where the baby is in there, if it’s really as big as they say they are at 15 weeks, (my theory is that he took over the space normally held by my bladder.) I know there’s one in there because it kicks a lot and I’ve started having Braxton-Hicks contractions every day. (And I did check with my Google Doctor and he said it’s normal in the second trimester.)
I make it my policy to write all my stories as accurately as possible and if I’m writing pure fiction, I try to make it obvious. But, I’ll admit that while everything I wrote was true and that is me in the picture, the “belly” is just an old college sweatshirt. You can even see it in the picture on the counter. (Mr. French wanted to take a picture of me taking it out but it was just a little too stripper-esque for me.)
Mr. F thinks that I’ve lost all credibility now and no one will believe anything I write.
They probably made up that whole thing about going to France too.
Yeah, maybe she’s not even pregnant. It’s all a big hoax.
She probably took that second picture, where she’s all skinny, like three months ago to make us now believe she’s really not that big, but really she is. The big fat liar.
But dudes, in my defense, if you can’t believe those two pictures were taken on the same day, why would I have the same bad hair on both days? Huh? Give me some credit.