All about Mr. French (sort of)

Mr. French thinks he doesn’t get enough attention around here in blogland.

I’d like to take this moment to point out that he is the only one in this family that has his very own, custom-designed, category. (See Mr. French on the right.)

But in honor of his birthday this week, I decided to do an exclusive interview with him. (His comments will be in bleu.)

How old are you?

What size underwear do you wear?

Touché

What do you want to be when you grow up?

A grown-up

What are your top five favorite musicians or bands?

Whoa. That’s too hard. Can it just be my favorite albums?

Yes.

Oh, boy. This is going to take a long time.

Heavy sigh. Glancing at watch. *thinking* This is going to be much harder than I thought.

How about we skip that for now. Maybe you can e-mail it to me.

O.K.

On a scale of 1-10, 1 being hate from the bottom of your heart, and 10 being you wouldn’t want to live without it, how do you feel about e-mail?

negative 1

How fast would you go out and replace your iPod, if you lost it today?

*thinking* 45 minutes?

If you could live anywhere in the world, what would your top five choices be?

London, England

Geneva, Switzerland

Nantes, France

Amsterdam, Holland

Brussels, Belgium

But if you had to live in the States, what would your top five choices be?

Our home in Ohio

Providence, R.I.

Philadelphia, PA

Bangor, Maine

Anchorage, AL

On a scale of 1-10, (1=ugly and 10=no one is more beautiful), where would you rank your current wife?

101

How about your first wife?

Since she’s been decaying for over a decade, I’d say about a 1.

*Sigh.* That was a really hard time.

So, how does a guy who dislikes making smalltalk with people become a computer programmer in the language of Smalltalk?

I’d love to chat with you about that, but I don’t want to.

Which of your three sons takes after you the most?

Well, you’re always saying the oldest one does.

Does that make you secretly glad?

If I told you, then it wouldn’t be a secret.

What do you find most exasperating about your wife?

Asking me all these questions.

Will you ever get a facebook account?

The day I think snow is ugly, is the day I’ll get a facebook account.

Will you ever get your own blog?

Not unless my wife writes it for me.

I’d say it’s not going to happen.

On a scale of 1-10, (1=horrible, 10=superb) how would you rank your wife’s musical tastes?

NI for needs improvement

Hypothetically speaking, how much money in cold hard cash would you give you wife right now for the privilege of naming your next child, with no input from her whatsoever?

A cool million (if I had it)

Would you rather have a job you disliked but could live anywhere you wanted, or have your dream job but you had to live in the South?

I’d only live in the south if my job was working for the Abraham Lincoln Appreciation Society.

At what age did you finally feel like you were a grown-up?

When S was born and I got my pants soaked from all the birthing fluid. That’s when I felt like I was a grown-up.

That story deserves it’s own blog post.

Do you think your wife needs a new pair of shoes, or two?

Yes, and I’m still working on my next book order.

On a scale of 1-10, how would you rank yourself as a cook?

What I said about e-mail.

After hoping your last two sons would be girls, are you just saying that you want a boy this time to try to psych the baby out?

*Laughing* Do you think it will work?

Do you wish I had a sense of humor?

So do all your readers

Hypothetically speaking, would you say anything negative if your wife came home with a new pair of shoes?

No, but I’d be quick to show her my new book list

What three jobs have you held that you think people would be surprised to know that you’ve had?

Teacher’s aide at Perkin’s School for the Blind

Videographer for a legal reporting company

Selling balloons in Boston Common

If I was walking down the street, do you think the average person would guess that I’m almost halfway through this pregnancy?

Only if you had a sweatshirt stuffed under your shirt.

Do I look pregnant at all?

Only when you’re not wearing clothes

Does your life feel complete now that you have a dog?

Almost. I still need a piano.

What are your three favorite dishes that your wife makes?

Your chocolate chip, peanut butter chip, macadamia nut, oatmeal cookies,

your various cheesecakes,

and your chocolate pudding cake.

What do you wish she had made you for your birthday?

Chocolate soufflé with brandied cherries inside and raspberry sauce and whipped cream

Before we end, I’m going to give you some possible blog titles that I came up with for you, in case you ever decide to blog. I want you to give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear them.

Could’ve been a Rock Star but instead I’m a Computer Programmer

I like that.

The Armchair Theologian

Oooh. Quaint and sophisticated.

The I-could-do-that-I-just-chose-not-to-Cook

Change it to Chef and you’ve got it.

Wish I was a European

Très bien

And that’s why you’re Mr. French.

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6 Comments

Filed under Mr. French, That was fun, Why does no one get my jokes?

6 responses to “All about Mr. French (sort of)

  1. Pingback: All about Mr. French (in answer to the third question) « Can moving be a hobby?

  2. Esther

    Providence, huh? Maybe you guys need to come here for a vacation!

  3. redchampagne

    We talk about it every year.

    The problem is we rarely ever “vacation”. I think it’s hard to vacation when you move a lot. That, and you can’t really have a vacation with little kids.

    But maybe some day…

  4. Jessica

    That was great! Well, except for the Abraham Lincoln Appreciation Association. 😉

    Happy belated birthday, Mr. F!

  5. Patti

    Sounds like the kind of converstation you would get from my DH! This was great!!

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