Things I didn’t know I’d have to explain more than once before I had boys

1. Always, always, always change your underwear everyday. Then, change them again for good measure.

2. Never, never, never put jeans with caked on mud into the hamper. When in doubt, leave them out (in the laundry room).



(Yes, I found them at the bottom of their full hamper.)

3. When heading to the bathroom, keep these steps in mind:

  • First, lift the lid
  • Second, lift the seat
  • Then, look, aim and fire.

Strange things can happen if you skip a step.


( How?! Never mind. I don’t want to know!)


4. Snow boots were not meant to go through water. If it’s too cold for sandals, you should just stay in the snow. (No matter what your father does!)

5. And lastly, you don’t have to look, feel, or believe that you’re dirty to need a bath.

“But Mom, I just took a bath last week!”

****Warning: this post contained graphic displays of bodily fluids. It even grossed out Mr. French. It’s just too bad I put the warning at the bottom of the post.**** 🙂



Filed under Boys will be boys, Mr. French, That's just gross

6 responses to “Things I didn’t know I’d have to explain more than once before I had boys

  1. SpringMeadowsMama

    LOL! We have had that same senario at our house before…maybe sleep walking? bwg.

  2. redchampagne

    Interesting theory, but since it happened during the day, I’m thinking someone wasn’t paying enough attention to what they were doing. I didn’t ask too many questions. I really didn’t want to know.

  3. Crafty Mom

    Yep, it’s better not to ask too many questions. And even if you did ask, you still wouldn’t understand.

    I added the rule that “all boys must empty their jeans pockets BEFORE putting them into the laundry pile”. That rule was added one day while doing laundry and I reached into the pockets of a certain young man, to make sure they were empty. I was rewarded with a pheasant’s claw…one that had only recently been attached to the actual pheasant.

  4. redchampagne


    Thankfully the worst they’ve brought in so far are rocks (lots of rocks) and clam shells. There are tons in the river, apparently. They kind of stink though.

  5. LOL!!!!! Ok, I can completely relate to that post!
    And the very same things and comments and explanations have been used in this house!!!!
    And, you are right, those things don’t happen just at night!!! ugh. I feel your pain, or disgust, or whatever.
    A mom of boys never lacks for entertainments in some form or another~

  6. My oldest son was recently remembering the story about the time when I walked into the bathroom to find him and his little brother (toddlers) stirring his poop in the potty with wooden spoons from the kitchen. (I threw the spoons away.)

    He said, “That is the grossest thing I have ever done.”

    I paused, then asked, “Did you change your underwear today?”


    “Maybe I should write about this on my blog.”


    (Okay, I’ll settle for just leaving it here in a comment. Heh Heh.)

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