A lot of people like to say they don’t regret anything they’ve done in life because it all worked out in the end.
Or maybe it’s because they like to think that they’ve never done anything wrong.
On the one hand, I can see what they’re getting at.
But I don’t have the same feeling. I regret a lot of things I’ve done. Most of which I don’t want to discuss with the internet.
But I do have one huge regret I’ll tell you about.
It has to do with Mr. French.
I don’t remember how it came up. We must have been talking about something important because we were very close to the topic of marriage, if we weren’t tripping over it as we spoke.
But the following came out of my mouth and I don’t mind telling you that I regret saying it where anyone, but especially Mr. French, could hear me.
“I just don’t want to be bored. I don’t want to marry someone who is boring.”
Do you know how many times Mr. French has delighted in reminding me of those fateful words?
He reminded me:
-When I was 8 months pregnant, moving, in a small car, to Chicago, where I’d never been before, after being married for only 10 months.
-When we moved again, a year later, within Chicagoland, 5 months pregnant with son #2.
-When we moved to North Carolina a year later, with no job in sight, to be closer to Mr. French’s family, while his Mom dealt with cancer.
-Then 6 weeks later, when we moved to a new job and a new house in a new city in Maryland.
-11 months later, when he told me he had been laid off, while I lay on the couch, nauseous, six weeks pregnant with son #3.
-9 1/2 months later, after being out-of-work for 8 months, when I found myself on an airplane with a three-and-a-half-year-old, a two-year-old, and a one-month-old, two carry-on bags, a double stroller, three car seats, and three very large suitcases, moving yet again to a city I’d never been to before.
I doubt ‘bored’ was a word that popped into anyone’s mind when they saw me walking around the airport that day.
And then two years and two months later, after living in a two bedroom apartment in hot, but lovely Texas, when we were on an airplane bound for France to live for the next ten months, he looked across the aisle at me and mouthed,
“At least I’m not boring.”
All I’m saying is, there are some things I’d really like to take back.
Although, I don’t actually regret having such an interesting life.
Nor marrying such an interesting guy.