We got nothin’. (Baby names update)

Someone recently commented on my Baby Names post and I thought maybe I should give you an update.

We still aren’t going to find out what we’re having (before the birth) so we need to come up with both a boy’s name and a girl’s name.

When I first asked for baby names, I only asked for suggestions for girl names because we have several names (first and second) for boys and this is still true.

Except now Mr. French is questioning whether we should use my favorite one. The one that I wanted to use for all three of the other boys, but didn’t for various reasons. The one that I’ve imagined using on a little boy for the last 8 years. Yeah, that’s the name Mr. F is suddenly not sure about.


So that means for boys we’re deadlocked and will probably have to go into arbitration and seek some unbiased opinions. (I have a three page form you can fill out if you’d like to be considered for this unpaid, but highly exclusive position. E-mail me. 🙂 )

We’ve spent the majority of our time discussing girl names because we knew from the beginning that this would be harder for us.

And, let’s see, we’ve got…1..2…wait, carry the 1…that’s 12….no, that one got rejected…that’s…


We’ve got…approximately…




And now before Mr. French declares my math skills worse than usual and demands a recount, I’ll tell you how I’ve come to this conclusion.

I’ve got 2 names at the top of my list.

Mr. French has 3 names at the top of his list.


Then I created an elaborate graph with my names on one side and M. F’s along the bottom. Every name on my list that was the same as on Mr. F’s would then cross and I put a mark on the grid. Then, I counted all the marks.

And that’s how I came up with zero.

While we’re more than willing to enter into negotiations on middle names, neither one of us is willing to give an inch until the other one does, on first names.

The good news is that we have 4 months to resolve it and I, at least, have the knowledge that Mr. French generally becomes weaker when two things occur. First, he watches me go through childbirth un-medicated, and then, I threaten to call all the relatives to announce the baby before the baby has a name, which makes him sweat bullets and start making charts and graphs and spreadsheets. And then I start crying.

It’s just the hormones, of course.

I wouldn’t be doing it on purpose to try to get my way through emotional blackmail.

That would just be wrong.

So, let’s hope it doesn’t go that far.

Does anyone know of a good arbitrator?


Filed under Mr. French, She's having a baby

8 responses to “We got nothin’. (Baby names update)

  1. Naming math really stinks that way.

    Hubs and I were the same way–boys names, not a big deal. Girls names–WAR. He totally shot down my first choice, then accepted, then changed his mind about my second choice. By the time we were down to mere days before our daughter was due (I have no patience, so we asked Mr. Sonogram), I gave up and just waited it out. Turns out I didn’t really feel like talking names again until she was about 2o minutes old. Just after the post-labor contractions from *somewhere* ended. Huh. Funny thing, timing.

    Guess who got her way? Shameless, I know.

    GOOD LUCK! And may the one who actually gives him/her birth, win.

  2. Did you and Mr. F have such problems even with your first?

    Steve and I agreed on names the night I told him I was pregnant!

    I assume future children may present some greater difficulties…

  3. redchampagne

    Jamie- I think you’re right about the timing. Four months might as well be a year. Why give in now? I say the time to compromise is when the nurse is begging you to fill out the forms already.

    I heard a funny story awhile ago-I don’t know if it’s even true. This couple knew they were going to have a boy and the husband would only suggest this one name, that the wife thought was awful. We’ll say it’s Hitler. No matter what, it would always come up and she couldn’t get him to like any other name. After they have the baby, she asks him what they should name him, and the husband says, “How about John?” She agrees immediately b/c anything is better than Hitler and he tells people later that he planned it that way.

    Now, that’s the true art of manipulation. 🙂

    Alyssa- you guys are just weird, okay? 🙂

    We struggled the most with the first two. Our third was the easiest and the most controversial. (figure that one out.) If our second had been a girl, we had that name picked out months in advance, but it was mostly because Mr. F thought it would be a girl, I thought it would not be and we compromised. He got his favorite first name and I got to use my favorite middle name. That agreement was only in place for that child and that child only.

    Mr. F has been trying to bargain for something similar this time, but is having a much more difficult time with it. 🙂

  4. It’ll come. Eventually. Maybe when you see it’s face, everything will become clear!

  5. redchampagne

    I do think that’s true. You kind of need to see the baby to confirm the right name for him.

  6. the other kansan

    The birth of our 2nd daughter was definitely a “wait-and-see-the-baby” case for us. R was totally convinced she would be a boy and I was mostly convinced. It’s a good thing we didn’t go ahead and name her beforehand, otherwise, we’d have a little girl named Colin–not nearly as nice as Fiona.

  7. I think I had picked out both of our kids’ names before I even got pregnant the first time. I know that I knew I wanted to use the name Katharina/Katarina, and I am pretty sure that I had picked out Johann then too. What I did was I went through my family tree and picked the most common names that were acceptable. (I think that Aganetha and Cornelius were more common, but I can’t stand the thought of naming my kids that.) I was so resolute before Katie was born that I would call her Katharina all the time, but that only lasted a few months. As for Joey, I knew that most [under-educated] Americans can’t pronounce Johann, so I decided that his nickname would be Joey.

    I didn’t decide what Katie’s middle name would be until she was born. (John may think he had some influence on the naming, but I don’t remember him doing anything other than approving my plans.) 😛

    For Joey, I was just not sure what the middle name would be, but then a friend (whose name is Christian) said that his middle name should be Christian so that he would be named after both of us…Johann=John in German, Christina is the feminine version of Christian. I was actually thinking about Krischan, which is how it used to be spelled in German (according to what I have read), but John didn’t like that, so we compromised with Christian.

    I really like the idea of digging for names in family trees. I absolutely hate the heard mentality in naming children, but I hate cruel names just about as much. (What kind of a name is Apple? At least it isn’t as bad as Dweezil and Moon Unit!)

    As far as French goes, all I can think of is Alizee, but if Mr. French knows who she is, then I don’t think he would ever agree to it. (Hey, if you like the name, don’t tell him about the musician until the ink has dried on the birth certificate!)

    It is my opinion that there is not one thing wrong with a woman saying it is her right to have final say in the naming of babies, at least until men start getting pregnant. (Or if they get morning sickness in our place, that might count.)

    Oh, don’t save any favorite names for later, because you never know if there will be a later. I have used up all the names I really wanted, and all future children will come pre-named (when you adopt older kids, you should keep their birth names unless the child wants to change it, and in that case, they can pick out whatever they want…within reason…no Peaches Honeyblossom Michelle Charlotte Angel Vanessa Geldof allowed in my house!)

    That’s all I have to say about that….(I think…)

  8. My cousin Julie just had her baby on Friday. (You probably know Julie.) They still haven’t named her! The wait is making me cranky.

    I hope you and your husband can agree on names soon!

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