Monthly Archives: May 2008

My experience is limited, but I’ll tell you everything I know.

I have experience working with four state Board of Nursing organizations. That’s a pretty small percentage of the total, I realize.

For being separate organizations, they have a lot in common.

For one thing, it is virtually impossible to speak to a real person when you call.

But, on the off chance that you do get a real person (Hi, Maryland!), she will inform you that you are actually speaking to the wrong person, but she will happily transfer you to the right person, at which point you will find yourself talking to…

an answering machine.

Leave a comment

Filed under Why does no one get my jokes?

Wordless Wednesday

Photobucket

6 Comments

Filed under She's having a baby

The illogical musings of an almost 4-year-old

“I like eggs. Daddy likes eggs. Mommy likes eggs. All peoples like eggs.”

_____________________

“No means yes!”

“So, does yes mean no?”

“No.”

_____________________

Animals that J insists he has heard in the backyard, which is a densely wooded area:

Dinosaurs

Tigers

Dolphins

Seals

Monkeys

He says, “They are dangerous, but if you get a big cage then you won’t have to ’till’ them.” (The ‘k’ sound is not his strength.)

2 Comments

Filed under Aren't my kids funny?

Waste of Creativity

You know what’s a complete waste of my creativity?

I have some really clever, and I mean CLEVER, passwords to some of my accounts. Totally cute, play-on-words with numbers that play on the letters.

They’re ingenious, I tell you.

And I can never prove it.

I can’t even brag about it, although I’m obviously trying.

My husband can’t even remember them, that’s how clever they are.

And, no, I’m sure that is not a reflection on their utter brilliancy. Ahem.

But I’ve been trying to come up with names to suggest for this company.

They basically pay you for your cleverness with words.

And so far, I’ve come up with nothing.

I can’t think of anything that isn’t already taken and still fits the criteria.

A waste of space, I tell ya.

So, does anyone need a really good password? I might be able to help you out…

Leave a comment

Filed under I'm a pretend writer, Why does no one get my jokes?

It’s a bad sign when…

Your almost-four-year-old runs into the kitchen, grabs one paper towel and then runs into your bedroom.

2 Comments

Filed under Boys will be boys

This just made me laugh.

Read the story first.

I once heard a comedian say that unless you can actually see the baby coming out from between her legs, do not, under any circumstances ask a woman if she is pregnant.

This would be why I have yet to be asked if I’m pregnant. I’ve had people dance around it but until I confirm, they will not actually assume that I’m expecting. It’s kind of fun, actually.

Today, though, I had to repeat twice that I didn’t want to sign my kid up for the later date because I was due then. She looked at me, blinked and said, “Oh. But you’re not even showing!”

I’ll just take it as a compliment. It’s not like I have any control over it.

(This story is also quite funny.)

Leave a comment

Filed under She's having a baby, That was fun

I wasn’t feeling old until he said that.

My birthday is this week.

I don’t usually get too excited about it.

And being a year older doesn’t bother me, yet.

Pregnancy has a way of making me feel older than I am, though. ‘Slow and tired’ does not spell ‘youthfulness’ in my book. But I wasn’t feeling too bad about the prospect of being 31.

Until the other day.

The boys were playing in the living room with a bunch of new toys (read: junk) they “won” at a math carnival. S had a man-sitting-on-a-motorcycle toy.

“Hey C, look at my man! He’s old! He’s…he’s…” he pauses as he obviously tried to think up a really old age….

“He’s thirty!”

2 Comments

Filed under Aren't my kids funny?, She's having a baby