Monthly Archives: October 2008

Ah, the milestones of babyhood

You know, all the big important ones like rolling over, sitting up and…

swatting at inanimate objects.

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Filed under She's having a baby, That was fun

I’ve heard high-waisted trousers are back in style.

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Good to know.

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Filed under That was fun, Why does no one get my jokes?

These are not rubberbands.

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3 out of 6 people, in this household, refer to them as “weapons”.

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Filed under Aren't my kids funny?, Boys will be boys

A Misunderstanding of Epic Proportions

Or How to make your mother FREAK out.

I feel I must provide you with some backstory as I’m not the type to overreact to injuries. In fact, I’m not even the type to give sympathy for most injuries and if my children feel their injury somehow deserves sympathy, they go to their father.

This summer we had 3 or 4 incidents involving some rogue bees. If it had only happened once we’d probably have written it off as a fluke, but on separate occasions and in different locations, a bee would find the boys and sting them several times and then follow them INTO the house. every. single. time. It was disconcerting to say the least.

Then last Saturday, we found a dead animal on the road right in front of our driveway. Which was nothing but gross.

Then, that same day, C came in and told me that a small animal bit him. Whoa! After many rapid-fire questions of where, what, when, how, and why-in-the-world-did-you-stick-your-fingers-anywhere-near-a-wild-animal!, and a lot of I-don’t-know’s, we determined that it was, perhaps, a mouse. (And no, we didn’t google “diseases obtained from mouse bites”. I like to sleep at night.)

The point is, there were a lot of weird animal goings-on around here.

So, now we come to yesterday, when the boys all went outside to play. C discovered the aforementioned roadkill when he went up to get the mail and, coming back he gathered his brothers, with Molly on a leash, for an expedition to check it out. When they got back, they discovered a dead “rat” in the driveway. They were very excited and told me all about it and then tried to get me to come look at it. I humored them by walking to the end of the garage and then said, “That’s nice. Don’t touch it” and went back inside.

I was in the kitchen working on dinner when C came in and said very calmly and seriously, “Mom, I want to tell you something.”

“What do you want to tell me?”

“J got bit on the finger by a rat.”

“WHAT?!!!”

“A rat bit J.”

“A RAT BIT J?!!!!” (Why, yes. I was yelling.)

He nodded solemnly.

“A RAT! WHERE? ANOTHER RAT? OR THE DEAD RAT?”

C was starting to look like he wished he hadn’t had “something to tell me”. He looked worried. “I don’t know.”

At this point I can hear J crying loudly in the garage so I rush out there to see. Sure enough, he has a mark on his finger with blood on it. By this time I had not regained any semblance of composure.

“WHERE IS THE RAT?! WHERE DID IT HAPPEN?! WHY DID YOU STICK YOUR HAND ANYWHERE NEAR A WILD ANIMAL?!”

J is still crying and cannot talk. He points to the driveway, which happens to be where the dead “rat” is lying.

“THE DEAD RAT BIT YOU?!” In my mind I can imagine a-previously-thought-to-be-dead-but-only-just-wounded-animal snapping at little hands, although even as I said it, I thought it sounded completely ridiculous.

He very slightly shook his head no.

“The dead rat didn’t bite you?”

He shook his head no again.

“Then what did bite you?”

“A rock.”

“Oh.” I said, straightening up. “Well, that must have hurt. But I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

Post script: The “rat” was actually a very dead mouse. Mr. French later confirmed this. And there was no mail delivered that day because of the roadkill that was in front of the mailbox on the road. We know this because today in the mail we received a notice stating that “we will be unable to deliver your mail” if the “approach to box” is not kept clear at all times. They sure get bent out of shape over a little dead animal. Sheesh.

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Filed under Boys will be boys, I confess, Mr. French, That's just gross

And that’s all you’re going to know about it, too.

S was excited to open a cereal box and find a “BATMAN STUNT FIGURE INSIDE!”

He started telling us about all the figures featured on the back, though he’s never seen a Batman movie.

“This guy, Batman, is the good guy and this guy is the Joker. He’s the bad guy ’cause he tells bad jokes.”

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Filed under Aren't my kids funny?

It’s feels like I’m on a rollercoaster….

Up and down.  Up and Down.

Things are looking good, things are looking bad.

I want my boring life back.

Oh, yeah. I’ve never had one of those.

So, in lieu of a real post, I thought I’d give you something else to read. And if you’re like me right now, you’d prefer something funny. So, I give you….

It’s Lovely, I’ll take it-Reading this will make you feel much better about the house you’re trying to sell.

Thoughts from a two-month old-As the mother of a two-month-old, I can attest to the accuracy of this post.

The best discription of a blog I’ve ever seen-Of course it’s not referring to my blog. Just all the other ones.

And another picture of my baby. ‘Cuz she makes me smile too.

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And now that the baby acne is gone, she’s losing her hair.

Who said being a baby was easy?

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Filed under She's having a baby, That was fun

If you give a man a camera…

You’ll have to tell him to take your picture.

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After he takes your picture, he’ll tell you to look up.

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Then he’ll tell you to smile.

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If you smile, then he’ll tell you to look natural.

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And then he’ll tell you to “keep talking”.

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He’ll say, “hold her up.”

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“More to the right.”

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And then he’ll ask to see her toes.

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And weeks later when you’re looking at the pictures, you will think you need more pictures, which means…

you will have to give a man a camera.

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Filed under Mr. French, She's having a baby, That was fun