Monthly Archives: May 2009

I never thought it would come to this.

I never thought I’d see this day.

I mean, I thought about it. Wished for it even. But I never really expected it.

I encouraged it, hoping Mr. French would take my hints. But he just wouldn’t do it. He gave a half-hearted effort but it wasn’t enough to overcome the many obstacles.

In the end, I gave up. I decided it just wasn’t important enough anymore.

And then one day, in a fit of desperation, it happened.

And just like that, he drank the coffee.

Not only does he drink coffee now, when he never would before, he even drinks that sludge that sits in the pot in the outdated employee lounge that someone forgot to turn off so it sits, burning away, until some crazed and tired man comes in to throw it out and make a new pot drink it.

Thanks for crossing over to the dark side, babe. But, you didn’t have to go quite that far.


1 Comment

Filed under Mr. French, Why does no one get my jokes?

Too much information

The following is a dramatization of an actual event. No blues musicians were injured during the filming.


Filed under Mr. French, Oversharing

Growing up is hard to do.

The other day I got out the rest of our summer clothes to sort through. I had the boys try on shorts and t-shirts to see what fit whom. C found a pair of shorts and a shirt that he remembered from several summers back. Size 4T. (He’s a size 6-7, 8.)

He told me it was his favorite outfit. I said that was nice. But that, you know, you can’t wear it because it doesn’t fit you anymore. He was disappointed.

Then, early the next week, he came downstairs wearing the outfit. Again, I told him that it wasn’t for him anymore. It was too tight and too small. He was even more disappointed this time than before. I relented to let him wear it that day, but I told him he couldn’t wear it ever again.

C's favorite outfit

I also took the opportunity to point out, throughout the day, how it was too small. Like, how tight the waistband was. How his belly showed if he only slightly lifted his arms.

So, he tucked in his shirt.

Which reminded me of myself.

I was living in O’Fallon, IL. I think I was about 4 years old. It was a pair of knit pink pants and a matching pink and white striped shirt. I loved it. I wore it all the time.

And then one day, my Mom said it was too small. I resisted. She finally said that I had to ask my Dad what he thought and if he said it was too small, I had to give it up. I waited for him to come home. Finally, I remember my Mom calling me to come into the living room where they were relaxing after a long day of work. He looked at me, pointed to my belly and said, “It must be too small because I can see your belly button.”

For years afterwards, I thought, if only I’d worn an undershirt, I could still be wearing that outfit.

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Filed under Boys will be boys, Forgive me for being sentimental

It’s a good question, though some of us may see it from a wholly different angle.

“Mom?” asked S. “In heaven, will girls still scream when they see rats?”


Filed under Aren't my kids funny?

When being the parent doesn’t mean you always say the right thing.

Or, When are the real parents going to get here?

So the other night, C threw up. Unexpectantly. On the couch. With no movement towards the bathroom whatsoever.

Besides being annoyed that he’s eight years old and should know better, I was confused as to why he was also very upset and crying about it. Until I realized that he’s not the kid who usually throws up. In fact, he might not even remember throwing up in his life ever. So, in trying to comfort him, I said,

“It’s okay to throw up. Everyone does it. You’ll be fine. It’s perfectly normal.”

Still crying.

“Hey, remember when Felicity was in Mommy’s tummy?”

He nods his head.

“Well, I threw up like everyday. And I was fine!”


“Oh! But that doesn’t mean you’re going to have a baby. That’s just……I’m gonna…go get Daddy now.”

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Filed under In Sickness and Health, Mr. French, That's just gross, This is going to be really funny one day

We start the household slavery early around here

I like to throw things too.

She’s an expert at “emptying the dishwasher”.

The “putting away” part has room for improvement.


Filed under Aren't my kids funny?, Girls are not boys

It just comes naturally…

monkey see, monkey do

to monkey-boys.


Filed under Boys will be boys