I can’t remember when it became obvious, but J does not like chocolate. In fact, we’re almost convinced it makes him sick. And by sick, I mean it makes him want to empty his mouth of the stuff.
Once Mr. French took him (and his brothers and the dog) to a store (to buy dog food) and the owner of the store gave them all mini-peanut butter cups. The kind that are covered in chocolate.
By the time they got home it was all over J’s mouth, running down to his shirt and pants. We’re still confused but it appears that he started to eat it, decided against it and maybe let it all come back out?
Who does that?
His big thing is with melty chocolate. You know, the kind that oozes from just-baked chocolate chip cookies, or s’mores or brownies with chocolate chips in them. This is why he always asks before taking anything that looks remotely like chocolate if it is, in fact, chocolate. So, if he asks if there’s chocolate in the brownies, I say no, because, there isn’t any “oozy” chocolate and that’s really the only kind that matters to him.
All of this is important to know for the following story.
The other day, we were out doing a little used furniture shopping. Afterwards (we didn’t find anything), we decided through code and by spelling words they didn’t recognize (yet) to go out to eat as a special treat. But we weren’t going to tell the boys yet since we still had one more stop to make first. On the way there, and in fact, previous to that, J had started saying, “I’m hungry.” “I’m still hungry.” “I’m still hungry!”
Mr. F: You’re still hungry, J? How unusual. I would’ve thought you’d be over it by now.
J: No. I’m still hungry.
Mr.F: Are you just going to say that until you’re not hungry anymore?
J: That’s my plan.
Mr.F: (laughing) That’s your plan? Well, what if you don’t get the results you’re looking for from it?
J: What’s results means?
Mr.F: Results means if the thing doesn’t work, will you change your plan?
J: That’s my plan. (If it got a laugh the first time, try it again.)
Me: What do you want to eat, J?
J: I don’t know.
Me: How about some beans?
J: I don’t like beans.
Mr. F: How about beans and brussel sprouts?
Me: How about some beans covered in chocolate?
J: I don’t like chocolate.
Me: How about a hot dog dipped in chocolate with beans on top and warm melty chocolate on top of that!
J: I don’t think so.
Me: How about a warm chocolate chip cookie with warm melty chocolate all over it?
Mr.F: That actually sounds good.
J: That doesn’t sound good.
Mr.F: How about chocolate frosting on chocolate cake with warm chocolate on top of beans?
J: But I don’t like chocolate!
Mr.F: Then I guess you’re not hungry enough. If you’re not hungry enough to eat chocolate, you’re not hungry enough.
J: … But… I’m still hungry!
(And just for the record, we’re equal opportunity teasers. We think hope it builds character.)