Monthly Archives: September 2009

Sweet kid, isn’t he?

C and J were arguing over a puzzle.

C: But J, you have two. Let me have one. Pleeeease? You have two. Please?

J: <Pause> Hmmm. I’m going to say N-O,¬†No.

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Filed under Aren't my kids funny?

How to confuse the post office in twelve difficult steps.

You might not need to do all of these. Use your own judgment.

Step one: Move to another town (we’ll call this addresss B). Forward your mail.

Step two: After six months move to another part of town (we’ll call this address C).

Step three: Consider yourself doing the post office a favor and put in a forwarding mail request a week ahead of time.

Step four: This will confuse the postman and he, upon seeing a “strange van” in your driveway, will¬†spontaneously decide to forward your mail two days early. You can thank him at your convenience.

Step five: While residing at address C, and still receiving forwarded mail from addresses A and B, prepare to move back to address A.

Step six: Put in a forwarding mail request for address C to address A. (But not too early this time. We don’t want them taking matters into their own hands again.)

Step seven: The panic will hit a few days later when you realize that you might never get your mail as it is now in a continuous forwarding mail loop.

Step eight: Call the Post office. Wait on hold. Explain the situation in as simple terms as possible, trying not to sound like an idiot. (It’s hard. I should know.)

Step nine: Listen as she reads you the instructions for fixing a “mail forwarding loop”. Do not interrupt even if you do have important and pressing clarifying questions.

Step ten: After clarifying, listen as she then re-reads the previous material.

Step eleven: Go to post office in person, even if the person on the phone said it could be fixed on the internet and ask for instructions on how to fix a “mail forwarding loop”. (Try to go when there are less people around. But only if you’re easily embarrassed.)

Step twelve: After receiving completely different instructions, take half of the previous instructions, half of the new instructions, mix them together and stick a dozen new forms in the mail (one for each step, apparently).

Now pat yourself on the back. You’ve earned it.

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Filed under Moving is my hobby, This is going to be really funny one day, With tongue placed firmly in wall of mouth

We got our weekends back.

I have to say, the worst part of traveling back and forth between two places is that we never really had a restful weekend. Fridays were always busy with packing, and driving, and then unpacking.

We spent Saturdays working and being busy; doing all the things we should normally do during the week, but that we couldn’t because we weren’t here. (or there, depending on where you’re sitting right now.)

And then Sundays, just never felt restful. We were busy with church and sometimes having people over, which we enjoyed but then we didn’t get a nap, and then we had to pack and try to remember that thing that I forgot last week when we left? What was it? I forgot something every single week. Without fail. Never the same thing twice though. Which either says I always learned my lesson or maybe that I never did.

Anyway, I’m not doing that anymore.

Yep, I decided that I’m just not going to do it anymore. If Mr. French wants to see the kids, he can just drive the 2 1/2 hours each way to do it.

Just kidding.

We all moved back! Yay! And he’s working from home. So now our house is filled with jokes about how “You can just do that on your loooong commute to work.” and “Oh, but honey, I need the car today!” and stuff like that.

Ahh, well. I guess you had to be there.

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Filed under Moving is my hobby, Mr. French, Why does no one get my jokes?

How to get your normally non-indulgent mother to spoil you.

It’s actually easier than it first appears.

First, start eating the popsicle that she offers you.

Then, decide that “Yeah, maybe I don’t like popsicles.”

Then ask for a banana.

When she gets you one, go ahead and take a bite.

I like bananas.

But then when she licks your popsicle, decide that maybe you will try it again afterall.

I do like popsicles, I do.

Just keep repeating until you’re full.

She doesn’t like to waste food, you know.

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Filed under Aren't my kids funny?, Girls are not boys

I’m on a roll.

The boys have started drinking hot tea with milk. Or as Mr. French likes to say, “Milk with a little tea.”

He doesn’t really approve, even though he claims to be an anglophile.

The other night, one of the boys had a cup of tea and since we were with some friends, one of whom is a pediatrician, Mr. French brought it up, again.

“So, do you think that much caffeine is bad for kids? Do you think it’s going to stunt their growth?”

Before the doctor could answer, I piped in, “What? Are all the English short?”

Everyone laughed.

‘Cause, yeah. They kinda are.

___________________

At church in the evening, we always have snacks. And the boys always eat a lot. Which amuses all of the other moms, who all have teenagers but who apparently don’t eat as much as my boys.

“I can’t believe how much he eats.” said one, referring to J. “He eats more than these teenagers.”

“Yeah.” I said, agreeing.

“You probably already have to cook like you have teenagers.”

“Oh. That’s scary.” (I need a bigger pan!)

_______________

The two older boys now have bunk beds. And it’s the first piece of furniture we’ve ever bought them. And we still bought it used on Craig’s list.

I am smiling.

But I think they love it.

(That is his happy face.)

(It’s also his this-is-such-a-dumb-time-to-take-a-picture-face.)

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Filed under Aren't my kids funny?, Boys will be boys, Mr. French

Nobody said it would make sense.

The thing nobody ever tells you about having kids, is that you’ll lose your logic skills as fast as you lose your patience.

I just gave a kid a tootsie roll to get him to eat a couple pinto beans.

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Filed under I confess, This is going to be really funny one day

It may not be obvious, but the blue still outnumbers the pink around here.

I’ve been feeling guilty about all the Miss F posts lately. I do have three other kids, afterall.

Who all happen to be BOYS!

So, what have they been up to lately? Well…

1) They’ve been making and dressing up in the fiercest battle gear of any knights around.

Where's my sword?

They’d probably look doubly dangerous if they could shake that pink girl off their trail.

Maybe she’s just a decoy to make you think that they have a weak spot but in actuality, they take no prisoners.

You wouldn't want to run into these guys in a dark alley.

Pretty nice decoy, though.

2) Improving their swimming skills.

The bright sun makes swimming better

Ready to jump

I want that!

Oh, man. Where’d she come from?

3) Playing catch and release.

Don't get so close.

For the record, the boys tell me they “can’t wait to eat crayfish.”

That's close enough.

For the record, I can’t wait until they do.

Whoa, can he do that?

I just hope I’m not gonna to be the one cookin’ ’em.

Wait, there's one more.

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Filed under Aren't my kids funny?, Boys will be boys