How to confuse the post office in twelve difficult steps.

You might not need to do all of these. Use your own judgment.

Step one: Move to another town (we’ll call this addresss B). Forward your mail.

Step two: After six months move to another part of town (we’ll call this address C).

Step three: Consider yourself doing the post office a favor and put in a forwarding mail request a week ahead of time.

Step four: This will confuse the postman and he, upon seeing a “strange van” in your driveway, will spontaneously decide to forward your mail two days early. You can thank him at your convenience.

Step five: While residing at address C, and still receiving forwarded mail from addresses A and B, prepare to move back to address A.

Step six: Put in a forwarding mail request for address C to address A. (But not too early this time. We don’t want them taking matters into their own hands again.)

Step seven: The panic will hit a few days later when you realize that you might never get your mail as it is now in a continuous forwarding mail loop.

Step eight: Call the Post office. Wait on hold. Explain the situation in as simple terms as possible, trying not to sound like an idiot. (It’s hard. I should know.)

Step nine: Listen as she reads you the instructions for fixing a “mail forwarding loop”. Do not interrupt even if you do have important and pressing clarifying questions.

Step ten: After clarifying, listen as she then re-reads the previous material.

Step eleven: Go to post office in person, even if the person on the phone said it could be fixed on the internet and ask for instructions on how to fix a “mail forwarding loop”. (Try to go when there are less people around. But only if you’re easily embarrassed.)

Step twelve: After receiving completely different instructions, take half of the previous instructions, half of the new instructions, mix them together and stick a dozen new forms in the mail (one for each step, apparently).

Now pat yourself on the back. You’ve earned it.

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3 Comments

Filed under Moving is my hobby, This is going to be really funny one day, With tongue placed firmly in wall of mouth

3 responses to “How to confuse the post office in twelve difficult steps.

  1. Alyssa

    You do realize that you are probably one of the only people who has ever had this problem!?! Yea, that’s what I thought.

    That’s really awesome that Mr. French works from home now. Steve is in the middle of a full load of school, and working 70 hours a week and I feel like I never see him. Well, maybe because I don’t, but anyways, I’m thoroughly jealous.

  2. I gave you an award. You can find it at my blog.

  3. Pingback: hobby |häbē| noun ( pl. -bies) 1 an activity done regularly in one’s leisure time for pleasure « Can moving be a hobby?

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