It’s the inanimate objects you’ve got to watch out for.

This is S.

He’s going to be 9 years old next month.

He’s as tall as his older brother and one shoe size bigger.  He’s the only kid that obviously takes after my side of the family. He’s got our big feet, with the second toe longer than the first, the big ears, the big teeth and red hair. He’s very ticklish, too. He also rolls his eyes like his mother, which is a terribly annoying habit. He should really stop that.

From the time he was a baby, sitting in his highchair, we noticed that he never stopped moving. Wiggling, constantly. I know, all babies are like that, but he was more like that than others. As he got older we noticed another phenomenon. He was always falling down. Even when there was nothing in front or behind him. We thought it was his big feet.

When he “sits” at the table during meals or doing his schoolwork, suddenly the chair will scoot out from under him or fall over and he’ll be on the floor laughing. And we’ll ask him, “Did your chair just throw you to the ground?” It happens all the time.

So, yesterday morning at breakfast I caught just the hint of blue around his eye.

“S, what’s on your eye?”

He looks down, smirking.

“No, really. Did you get hit in the eye? When did it happen?”

“Maybe yesterday?”

What happened?”

“I don’t know.”

“Really? It looks like blue eye shadow. Were you wrestling?”


“Okay, so what happened? Did someone hit you accidentally?”


“S. Just tell me. What happened? Why didn’t you tell me yesterday? We could have put ice on it. What hit you in the eye?”

“Maybe the wall?”

“Okay. Did you have your eyes closed or something on your head so you couldn’t see?”


(Laughing) “Okay.”

“Should I put ice on it?”

“No, it’s really too late for that.”

So, now we have to worry about the walls beating him up.


Filed under Aren't my kids funny?, Boys will be boys

2 responses to “It’s the inanimate objects you’ve got to watch out for.

  1. Joy

    That is so funny. I will have to send you the picture of my 2nd child with the unicorn bump on her forehead. Somehow she got it while lying in bed! How does that happen? She also just falls down walking and has never been still for more than 3 seconds at a time (except when sleeping of course). Must be something about those second children….

    • Rachel

      That’s funny. How would that happen?
      I’ve wondered that about secondborns, because my friend’s second daughter is exactly like S.
      The only “problem” is, I’m a second-born and I’m nothing like that.

      I don’t think I am, anyway.

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