Category Archives: That’s just gross

How not to make bone broth (Or, what just happened?)

Yesterday was a weird day. Mostly just the end of it, though.  Ethan decided he would not go to bed until all was right in his world and after much screaming, finally, finally fell asleep in Felicity’s bed with her around 10:45pm. I had holed myself up in our back bedroom with earphones in and cursed my lazy self for never sleep training him. (But he was such a fussy baby! It seemed like a good idea at the time!)

Anyway, now you know that I was in the back bedroom at 11 pm, almost ready to turn in for the night. Mr. French, was also there, studying at his makeshift standup desk/dresser. I’d just like to reiterate that it’s unusual for us to be in the back bedroom instead of the open living/kitchen/dining area, which has better lighting and is where we tend to hang out in the evening once the kids are in bed.

Suddenly, there was a loud Whoosh! sound. The kind that makes you imagine horrible things but nothing like what you’re about to discover.

So, we’re standing in the kitchen, that previously had been a 2 on a scale of 1-10, (1=bone dry and 10=covered in 1 foot of water) and was now easily a 7 on the same scale.

I just stood there for a minute because I couldn’t comprehend what I was seeing.

“The dish washer…?” I said.

“Oh, it must be the dishwasher! There’s water everywhere.” said Mr. French.

Silence.

“It’s the crockpot.” I said, as the smell of beef and grease finally clued me in. And then I noticed little pieces of meat amongst the dripping drips. “But…why?how? It’s everywhere. I mean everywhere.”

Mr. French starts getting rags out, cleaning up.

I just stood there. The crockpot was intact. The glass lid was still in one piece and firmly latched down. The crockpot was turned off. And yet, all that remained inside were the bones. A once full pot was almost completely emptied. And the entire kitchen was literally dripping in broth.

Imagine this all covered in broth. Tasty!

Imagine this all covered in broth. Tasty!

I’m still clueless. There’s a steam hole in the lid. But how the pressure built up enough to spout all the broth out but not blow the top, I can’t figure out. There was broth in the three drawers closest to the crockpot, all over the island and the counter next to it. All over the floor (which Mr. French cleaned up!), all over the sink and the clean dishes next to it. Of course the cabinets, the underside of the cabinets, were sprayed. Any paper I had sitting on the counter got completely ruined.

I’ve been making bone broth for the last year, in this crock pot. I’ll throw it all together and leave it for, literally, days. If I don’t want to deal with it, I just keep reprogramming it. (It has an automatic shutoff.) But this last batch I had only started one day earlier.

This was all that was left. Yes, I left it out all night.

This was all that was left. Yes, I left it out all night.

Anyway, I’m glad I wasn’t in the kitchen at the time. I’m really glad that I didn’t find it the next morning (talk about a bad morning) and I’m especially glad that it was late at night and none of the kids were around or near it. When I told the boys about it the next morning they said they wished they had been around to see it. They were also sure that MacGyver could have figured out what had happened.

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Filed under Boys will be boys, Mr. French, Pictures worth a thousand words, That's just gross, This is going to be really funny one day

She just doesn’t get enough credit

And if this isn’t an advertisement for Golden Retrievers as family pets, I don’t know what is.

It’s also an advertisement on the un-tastiness of fur.

Like we all needed a video to figure that out.

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Filed under She's having a baby, That's just gross, The Dog, These are the things I want to remember

At least it’s a dry heat

This was around two in the afternoon on Sunday.

We were facing the southeast if that makes a difference.

And this is tonight around 9 p.m.

(traveling south by southwest)

This is the drought map.

We’re right smack in the middle of exceptional.

Of course, we are.

Did you hear about the new Texas rain gauges they’re sellin’? It’s a bottle cap on top of a fence post.

It actually rained last week.

For about five minutes.

Have you ever gotten a frying pan really hot on the stove and then flicked some water into it?

It was kind of like that.

We had some visitors from Virginia a couple weeks ago. As they were driving down through this great state late at night they decided to roll down the windows and get some fresh air. They choked and quickly rolled them back up.

It kind of made me laugh out loud. Sorry, Virginians.

Supposedly, we’re supposed to get some rain this weekend and the weather is supposed to break into the high 90s.

Oh boy! Hold this while I go get my coat on.

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Filed under Playing the Tourist, That's just gross, This is going to be really funny one day

Rite of Passage

It’s nothing to people who live here, but this was our very first sighting of a scorpion….

in the house.

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Filed under Moving is my hobby, That's just gross

Wanna see something cool?

It’s May doing an August impersonation.

Maybe cool isn’t the right word.

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Filed under That's just gross

Cautiously Optimistic

I started potty-training on Monday. I had a well-thought out plan and was extremely prepared.

On Sunday night, I realized I only had 3 diapers in the entire house and I wasn’t planning to go shopping until Thursday. So, I held my nose and jumped with both feet.

And, here we are on Saturday and I am cautiously calling it a good start. If I was the kind of person that got easily excited about things I might call it a fantastic start, but Mr. French knows I never use that word unless I’m trying to be funny.

I am struck by a few things:

If it works out, she’ll be potty trained a whole year before any of her brothers were at the same age. Not that I didn’t try.

I, who eschews all clutter and unnecessary baby equipment, will buy all manner of pink plastic potty paraphernalia in the hopes of maintaining my child’s motivation. Even when I know it will only be used for a short amount of time and go the way of most other cheap plastic things. (But you should have seen her face when she saw that pink potty.)

The first three days (five if you’re dealing with boys) are the hardest. It can actually be worse the second or third day before it gets better.

In fact, if I were to be so bold as to give a suggestion (it’s only worth what you paid for it), I would say if the first day is super-hard (10 pairs of wet underwear, anyone?) your kid might not be ready. I think with the proper praise and motivation the first day is the easiest. The next day, they’re usually over it, with nothing to show for it.

If there was one thing I wish I’d known when I tried this years ago. You can never, ever praise them enough. I don’t know if that’s what I was doing wrong, but I saw it’s effects immediately with Felicity.

In a lot of ways, it was a bad time to potty-train because we have a lot of stuff happening in the next month. But that’s the other thing I’ve learned over the years. It’s never a good time to move, get pregnant, or potty-train. So, why not do all three at once?

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Filed under Apparently I have no shame, Girls are not boys, Oversharing, That's just gross

The History of Black Friday…according to me (part three)

(I had no idea this would be three parts when I started.)

So the infamous Black Friday shopping trip was never supposed to be. I think we were both completely certain that there was nothing that any store could offer to make us get up at some crazy dark hour to get.

Unfortunately, we couldn’t have been more wrong. Our second son, S, was sick a lot when he was little. Every six weeks or so he would vomit for about 36-48 hours. We never figured out why, exactly, but he eventually outgrew it. (Although, he still has a weak stomach like his mother.)

Thanksgiving proved to be no exception and the night before, at a restaurant with my parents, he threw up. And then continued through the next day. So, when all was said and done Thursday night and he was still not keeping much down, we started thinking about going to Wal-mart (so close and so convenient!) for Pedialyte. Oh, and we need diapers, too.

Now, by this time we were oh so much more experienced and far wiser than in times past. We knew that you don’t wait until 5am to try to get Pedialyte at Wal-mart on the day after Thanksgiving. No, you go earlier, before all the Black Friday crazy people can go through the registers.

So, Mr. French sets off with list in hand and walks on over. He first picks up the diapers and (mistake # 1) puts it in his cart. Then he looks for the Pedialyte. On his way to the register, he got sidetracked by something shiny (puzzles). (Oh, you don’t think that buying a puzzle for your out-of-town guests who were now stuck in a two bedroom apartment with a vomiting 3 year-old is important enough for Black Friday shopping? Well, that makes two of us.)

So, the puzzles being very shiny, but the people being very crowdy, Mr. French has to leave his cart in the aisle (mistake #2) to get to the shiny puzzles where he has to ponder each and every possibility. You know what happens next. The cart, magically disappears, along with the two things Mr. French really needed and he must then make his way through the throngs of people to the diaper section once more. Once procured for the second time, he then heads for the registers at decidedly the worst possible time. Yes, that would be when everyone in the entire store can now go through the checkout lines.

And now you know why I’ll never get Mr. French to go to the store (any store) on the Friday after Thanksgiving. (And yes, our out-of-town guests did enjoy putting together a shiny new puzzle that day.)

Actually, this year, I checked out the flyers and for a minute there I was tempted by the Target sales…but then…

then I tossed them in the trash.

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Filed under I confess, I'm a pretend writer, Moving is my hobby, Mr. French, That's just gross, This is going to be really funny one day