Category Archives: Girls are not boys

He’s already taken

A Series of Conversations with Felicity:

(While in the car)

F: Mom, when I gonna get married?

Me: Oh, probably when you’re 20 or so.

F: Hmm.

Me: Who are you going to marry?

F: Daddy.

(While in Target)

F: I just need some flowers. Then I can get married.

Me: You just need flowers? Then you can get married?

F: Yeah. I need some flowers. There’s some flowers over there.

Me: What are you going to wear?

F: I don’t know.

Pink flowers

Her 4th birthday

(While getting dressed for church)

F: Maybe I can wear this dress to get married.

Mr. French: Oh, but you’ll be a grown up when you get married. You’re a little girl now. This dress won’t fit you when you get married.

F: I’m going to marry you.

Mr. French: Oh, honey. But I already married Mommy, so I can’t marry you. I can only be married to one person.

F: Oh.

Mr. French: When you get older you’ll find a nice Christian man to marry.

F: I don’t want to marry that guy.

(Later that evening.)

F: I changed my mind. I’m not going to marry Daddy.

Me: You’re not?

F: No. ‘Cause you already married Daddy. (sigh.) I’m going to marry my best friend instead.

Maybe she could wear this dress.

Maybe she could wear this dress.

(At Target. Again.)

F: Mom, are you going to get those flowers for when I get married?

Me: Hmm, maybe.

F: I don’t want roses. I just want flowers.

F: Mom, I know I can’t marry Daddy. Be-tause Daddy already marry you.

Me: Yes, that’s true.

F: I just wish I could marry Daddy. I wish I could still marry Daddy.

F: Why are you laughing? It’s not funny.



Filed under Girls are not boys

This post brought to you by the letter, F

“F my name! Mom! F my name.”

“You wrote my name! You wrote F.”

“This is mine. ’cause F.”

Spying an F on a bag of chips. “My name! F my name. Fecity my name. Why is my name there?”

It’s nice that she’s become so proficient at spelling and writing her name but I can’t wait until she figures out that she doesn’t actually own the letter, F.

F my name!

P.S. How was everyone’s summer? Can you believe it’s over? (I mean, in theory.)

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Filed under Aren't my kids funny?, Girls are not boys

A bit of an exaggeration but thank you.

Felicity (at breakfast):

Dear God, thank you food that all day Mom make. Sooo wicious*.




Filed under Aren't my kids funny?, Girls are not boys


Me: Here, Felicity. Put this in your drawer.

Felicity: Hmm. How ’bout boys do it.

Me: Felicity!

F: Well…I’m here. Jumping.

Me: You’re too busy jumping?

F: Yeah.


(At the store)

F: Oooh. My Chocate!

Me: That’s not your chocolate.

F: Yes! I said it!

Me: That doesn’t make it yours.

F: Yes, does.


(On a walk at the state park)

Me: Oh, look. There are lots of bugs on that flower.

F: That okay. That okay there are bugs on my flowers.

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Filed under Aren't my kids funny?, Girls are not boys

I should have just given in.

(This all happened in one day, during “moving week”)

F: Can I watch a movie, Mom?

Me: No, because we have to do school.

F: Just a wittle bit of one?

Me: No.

F: What about a Dipper? (read: Kipper)

Me: Felicity, I said no. Not right now.

a minute passes…

F: Mom, can I watch a movie?

Me: No.

F: How ’bout “Felicity”?

Me: Not. Right. Now.

F: Puh-lllleaaaaaassssse. How ’bout Madewine?

Me: How about nothing?

F: How about someping sort? Like, Madewine is sort.

Me: Madeline is not short.

F: Is Pinocchio sort?


F: Mom. Can I watch a movie?

Me: No.

F: But it hurts.

Me: What hurts?

F: My legs.

F: Can I watch a movie?

Me: Felicity, I already answered that question.

F: But, I haven’t watched a movie today.

Me: I know.

F: Can I watch a movie cause I got hurt?

Me: How would you like to push the baby around in his stroller? Or do the dishes?

F: No fair Mom. I said, can I watch a movie?

F: Can I have one of these?

Me: Um, no. Those are for birthdays.

F: But I like it.

Me: I know, but it’s a candle.

F: I like candles!

Me: Felicity! Did you cut your hair?!

F: Mmmm.

Me: Why did you cut your hair?!

F: Because it had knots in it?

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Filed under Girls are not boys, Oversharing, This is going to be really funny one day

So, this move is going well

Quotes from Felicity:

F: “Mom!”

Me: “What!”

F: “This house is so mess!”

(This was the day after we got back from Dallas.)


Me: “So do you like the house, Felicity?”

F: “This is not our house.”

(When we first showed the kids the new house.)


F: But I don’t want all these things in the car.

(When we were taking some random things over to the new house.)


F: Can I have Daddy’s taco?

Me: Daddy’s taco?

F: The one with choc-ate on it?

(Those would be the moving/birthday donuts.)

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Filed under Aren't my kids funny?, Girls are not boys, Moving is my hobby

She wouldn’t. Would she?

So, every time a birthday or holiday comes up, I tend to be the parent that teases the kids, with the, “Oh, do people get presents on their birthday? I’ve never heard of such a tradition.”

Or my favorite, “Honey, did you pick up the Hello, kitty underwear for the boys? Did you get pink or purple? I think S would like purple.” This, of course, is perfect because they’re at the age where underwear is funny and girl stuff is gross.

My kids, of course, have figured me out and now say things like, “Oh, you’re just teasing. You wouldn’t do that.”

Well…I hate to disappoint.

And this, my friends, made my year.

I’ve got to figure out how to one-up myself next year.

(If you need an explanation, I wrapped three sets of BOY underwear and gave it to Felicity, then gave a pack of GIRL underwear to each of the boys.) (This was not all they got. The pile of presents was waiting just off camera. I just made them open these first.)


Filed under Boys will be boys, Girls are not boys, Mr. French, These are the things I want to remember, This is going to be really funny one day, Why does no one get my jokes?